Theme Number Two of Baptiste Yoga is Give Up What you Must and it speaks to me in so so many ways. Here is just one thing that I resolve to give up. Won’t you join me in identifying something you’d like to give up?
Maybe there is something bugging you. Something you don’t even recognize gnawing away like a little mouse that sneaks out in the dark and nibbles away at your potential. For each one of us, it can be something completely different and probably, at least for most of us, more than simply one thing.
Maybe you smoke, or you drink more than you think you should, maybe you weigh a bit more than what your doc says is ideal, maybe you’re depressed and angry. The first step to healing is identifying what that special thing (s) is/are.
My continual process of identifying has come through my yoga practice and meditation. Through a process of trying things and then giving them up for a period of time (sometimes days and sometimes weeks), I come to identify things that don’t sit with me any longer. When I was younger, these were very different things than they are now and I expect these things to change over time – these things that I must give up in order to grow bigger in my life. For now, I give up my judgement and reaction to others’ reactions to me. It’s the hardest thing.
I dearly love my mom. And yet, for years, I judged her for having started her own business when I was tenderly at the age of 12. I was abandoned, left home alone after school and quite lonely as the youngest of three girls. Throughout most of my adult life, all of my behavioral and eating disorders have been blamed on her brave decision. Not until my mid-adult life have I been able to start to give up my reactions to her action. I should have been proud of my successful courageous and infinitely strong mom, but I struggled to get over the hurt I felt of her not being there for me. What I realize now, many years later, is that it was and still is, up to me to choose my reactions. We make ourselves victims.
And so I urge you to look inside. Deep inside, not just peeking under the covers to see the reaction to the real issue and seize on that, but really do some digging here. For example, maybe you give up sugar because you want to lose weight. And so for a month, you go sugar free and sure you feel better and maybe you lose a little bit of weight, but maybe if weight loss is really your goal, it goes deeper than merely giving up sugar. Maybe instead it’s about being mindful of what and how you prepare your food and eat it. Maybe it’s your reactions to food itself instead of any one particular food or drink.
Look inside. Really peer deep inside. You might get a little scared by what you may find, but trust that it is worth every scary moment.